Written in Ashes

[G] A Best Friend

2007-06-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

I've never had a best friend
I grew up isolated and alone

no one to really talk to
not even on the phone

There is an emptiness deep inside
a void that is hallow and resounds

I'd like someone who'd understand me
at least while my heart still pounds

We could make our own Terabithia
running freely through the trees

building castles and adventures
and making chimes out of keys

we'd build that bridge together
so that rope would never break

and we'd always be together
I'd see you beside me when I wake

A simple request for a best friend
it's not such a simple goal

finding someone to fit with me
to fill my void and make me whole

[L] Our First Kiss

2008-02-14T11:31:00.001-08:00

I try to imagine our first kiss
I know we’ll share a wonderful bliss

It starts with an impassioned embrace
then my hands lightly touch your face

And I look deep into your eyes
While we breathe heart-felt sighs

I see you smile, I wipe away a tear
As our faces draw ever nearer

My eyes close when our lips meet
Passion flows from there to my feet

My heart soars to a new height
As I pull you in ever more tight

I smile back and say thanks to fate
As I know every kiss with you will be this great

[G] Goodbye my friend

2007-07-08T08:09:00.000-07:00

A better friend, I have not met

To hear my woes and lighten my debt

Your strength and love came from your soul

you mended others and made us whole

You brightened my day with your funny retort

saying "dinner for two" made me let out a snort

You reminded me that I'd remember this

when you were gone and surely missed

You tried to prepare me for when you were gone

but now I feel alone and withdrawn

this too will pass, then I'll remember you and smile

at the little things that made knowing you worthwhile

thank you Jamie, I will not forget

A better friend, I have not met

[L] If I was a cat

2007-05-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

I often wonder how life would be
if I were a cat, spirited and free

I think I'd chase rodents and bugs
and scratch up a few rugs

I'd sleep on top of your head
and bring you presents that are dead

I'd climb on top of your shelves
and go where no person delves

then with grace and poise
I wouldn't make a noise

I'd pounce on you when you least expect
(really, it's not anger, but out of respect)

After an hour of play
I'd check out my tray

I'd sniff at my food
then meow that you're rude

for not supplying me with gourmet cuisine
as part of your routine

but later at night, when you flop into bed
I'd climb onto MY pillow, the one where I shed

I'd snuggle with you and purr in your ear
Pay attention to me... to me! I'm here!

So another day has gone by and you're happy I bet
because you know you're my favorite pet

[G] Thirty Days

2006-09-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

In thirty days, my life will change
its kind of scary, kind of strange

I could deny this transition and hide within
or face it with stride and continue to grin

In thirty days, I won't be here
I'll have moved away, without a tear

with future unknown and opportunities ahead
I shouldn't have feelings of fear or dread

In thirty days, my life amends
I'll start anew and make new friends

No ties to hold me here, no prospects I see
alone and far away is where I'll be

In thirty days, my life will have changed
I hope you're still with me when it's rearranged

my life from here, I can only succeed
but its you with me, that I still need

[L] Love Hopes

2006-02-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

Love cannot be condensed into just one day
I'll love you forever is what I'll say

meer cards nor gifts cannot resound
the amount of love that I have found

your laughter, your smile have captured my heart
I feel empty and alone whenever we're apart

So my sweet, I put my heart in your hands
and shout out my love for you from the stands

this Valentine's day and ever more
because its you, that I so adore

I hope this love is returned in kind
as I believe our two hearts did bind

in spirit and friendship as true love would do
as I wait to hear you say, "I love you too"

[L] Rain on my window

2006-01-22T00:10:00.000-08:00

I hear thunder in the distance
the sky turns darker black
a smile forms upon my lips
the rain is coming back

I walk to my balcony door
a cool breeze washes through
its refreshing and cleansing
I can taste the alluring dew

The rain spatters on my roof
lightining flashes in the sky
goosebumps erupt on my skin
and my body relaxes with a sigh

Splashing in puddles
making all things wet
catching rain on my tongue
its something I won't regret

I see rain on my window
as I stroll back inside
why are so many afriad
they avoid this and hide

The rain ends quickly
lightining and thunder ensue
this night would only be better
if I could have shared it with you

[L] In my mind... (part 1)

2005-12-28T12:18:00.000-08:00

part: [1] | (2) | (3)

I picture you sleeping soundly next to me
deeply, comfortably and without a care
I smile while I enjoy your beauty
and I breath in the frangrance from your hair

I carefully reach my hand over
to brush the hair from your face
your eyes flicker open
and you tighten your embrace

You move your head onto my shoulder
my hand drops to the smooth skin of your back
and you smile as we both drift into sleep
and the night turns from dark to black

I awaken before you, refreshed and alive
you arise laughing, kiss me on the cheek
and beat me to the bathroom
you're always such a sneak

When you return, we kiss for the longest time
our eyes are closed and all I can think
is that I've never been this happy
that's when you smirk and give that sly little wink

[G] In my mind... (part 2)

2005-12-29T12:16:00.000-08:00

part: (1) | [2] | (3)

I still have these images of you in my mind
thoughts of you and me so happy and free
I think back, smile, and feel a glimmer of hope
that maybe someday you will come back to me

I sigh and stare at the patterns in the ceiling
I feel a deep emptiness, I think it was a theft
of my heart and my soul mate who has gone far away
it was only a month ago that you left

I force myself to replay the sweet visions
but my mind is busy and begins to wander
I don't understand why this happened
was I bad or is it bad karma, I continue to ponder

There's no way to reach you or see you again
I want to scream that I love you
I want to refill this nothingness inside
but there is nothing to say and nothing to do

I drift into a trance with a tear in my eye
the images are so clear when I'm fast alseep
I wish I could just be here forever
with my visions, the visions of you that I keep

[D] In my mind... (part 3)

2006-01-03T06:14:00.000-08:00

part: (1) | (2) | [3]

When I heard the news of the plane crash
I stared at the T.V. in utter disbelief
It was your flight number on the screen
there is the tail, then I was hit with grief

It was just a weekend trip out of town
I drove to the airport, but we got there late
A quick kiss on the cheek and out you flew
you didn't turn around as you ran to the gate

I blew you a kiss and wished you good luck
and whispered I love you, but you didn't turn around
I left the airport, feeling the emptiness next to me
I guess I was driving home, when your plane hit the ground

Now I wish I had called you and told you those words
my emptiness is now pain, an ache that is new
how can I live on and be happy again
my life won't begin again without you

[G] Is there a Santa?

2005-12-01T16:28:00.000-08:00

Is there a Santa...

for the starving kids of the world
the homeless people in all the towns
for the cruel parents and stepparents
or the child who always frowns?

what about the people with no families
or our soldiers in the midst of war
and the families that are driven apart
or that woman forced to be a whore?

If you don't believe in mister Santa
does that mean you won't get a fabulous gift
maybe that lump of coal he drops down
sets your house afire, just because he's miffed

maybe there's an evil Santa
like in that T.V. show Futurama
he fires missiles and lasers at you
if you don't stay inside with your mama

But I think we must all try to understand
and with this I'm sure you'll all agree
that everyone of us has a Santa inside
that will love these people, especially me

There is a Santa...

[G] Vulnerable

2005-11-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

A smurk and a jeer, why did they hurt
I still cringed like I was in pain
my heart ripped from inside
it made me feel naked in the rain

I thought the love we shared was true
but now I know it was in vain
you used me and abused me
it made me feel naked in the rain

Time has passed since I heard her voice
it doesn't matter, there's nothing to gain
but when I stumbled across her picture
it made me feel naked in the rain

I've grown stronger and I have moved on
love is not meant to wax and wane
a true love is what I seek, and I know
I don't want to feel naked in the rain

[D] Darkness

2005-11-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

It's dark by day and dark by night
so much darkness gives me a fright

The earth now black, the nights are cold
is this what happens when humans get bold

Our species not symbiotic, we caused this abuse
it makes me angry at those who are obtuse

Its land once green, lovely and florid
now twisted trees and empty rivers are horrid

The atmosphere thin, plants shrivel and die
we scorched our planet, we barely have a sky

Life was in delicate balance for millions of years
but the earth is purging itself, and we are the tears

Maybe someday when we have learned or all passed
the earth will be green again, green and blue at last

[G] On the other side...

2005-11-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

On the other side...

The grass is greener
the skies are cleaner

the sun shines brighter
the air feels lighter

nothing smells like mold
and nothing ever grows old

the food is always sweet
everyone walks on the street

people smile as you walk by
no one ever needs to cry

a hand shake, a hug
no one acts smug

all your loved ones are here
and there's nothing to fear

but waking up...

[G] Can I love a photo?

2005-11-13T07:19:00.000-08:00

What is it that makes us fall in love?
does that person fit you like a glove?

is it something in their eyes, or their face?
would you love them with something out of place?

don't you love that beautiful smile?
or just that quirky sense of style?

for some what attracts is what they see
but beauty and looks are not the key

A picture is how this love did start
but hours of chatting strengthened my heart

she always makes me smile and laugh
which is effortlessly done for my behalf

much time has passed and we have not met
but this is not going to make me upset

if we plan to meet, will she really show?
oh well for now... I can just love her photo

[L] Nuts

2005-11-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

Don't be down, turn over that frown
Smiles are good, you think you could?
Laugh out loud, ignore the crowd
Dance naked and free, and umm could I see?
And when nothing else works, and life's full of jerks
Just yell this all sucks, and kick em in the nuts!

[L] True friends

2005-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Why do we always care so much
when something hurts a friend
I get angry, mad then sad
maybe its how I help them mend

I cry with them at sad movies
and laugh at their silly jokes
I jump when I'm frightened
and scream when someone pokes

I don't want to be indiffernt
like some who are stoic and bland
you try to get a response from them
its like they tell you, "talk to my hand"

Don't hide feelings from them
away from the bitter cold
I say let your emotions out
let them be free and be bold

Let your friends know how you feel
it's better to be honest and true
and these friends that stay with you
are your true friends, and there are too few

[D] Vampire

2005-11-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

My roses are dead
the violets are too
come try to kiss me
and I will bite you
__________________________

With greyness of the sky
and ground so black
I come out of my grave
for a midnight snack

I Lurk in the hills
travel in form by the night,
the blood of a victim
flows faster with fright

These roses are black
I press their skin to a thorn
the blood that comes forth
is what I adorn

Love lost is not,
I never sip on my food
their blood is now in me
so no need to brood

My hunger now quenched
no longer chilled to the bone
surround by millions
but I still feel alone

[L] Dreams

2005-11-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

(drawn by me back in 1989)

The woman of my dreams.... (the cheesy version)
has beautiful eyes
She never denies
and never lies

Has silky smooth thighs
and loves to eat fries
has fun throwing pies
makes me swat the flies

she helps me hang my ties
has no more reason for sighs
has love that never dies
and never says goodbyes

[G] My Lonely Heart

2005-11-13T07:15:00.000-08:00

(photo by Sean Tomkins)

I wonder if I will my heart will ever be whole
Where is my best friend, the other part of my soul
Does she exist, will I know if I find her
Or will I grow old, cynical and ever blinder

As the years tick away, I begin to lose hope
But I try not to be down, I just have to cope
I smile, I laugh, you see my outside
but my real inner feelings I tend to hide

So many wonderful women, but none of them fit
Its not like she will come in an unassembled kit
Where I can pick the pieces and parts of her inner fire
Only the things that I want and desire

But I don't want that, I want to be picked too
The thrill of learning and exploring someone new
To find that passion, that love, that happiness
The smell of her hair and feel of her caress

I'm still patiently waiting and exploring
And learning new things, so I'm never boring
But humor, heat and humdrum is what I reminisce
As a formula for long term bliss

So my lonely heart, let me tell you the truth
Be happy for now, and never be aloof
Continue to beat and survive another day
Because I love you my heart, please stay that way

(my poem was inspired by Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece, Thank you Sasha)

Written in Ashes

2005-11-13T06:55:00.000-08:00

Thus begins a new blog in which I will post my writings, poetry (ugh not another poet!), and musings. It will range from silly to dark - whatever my mood is at the time. We'll just have to see. I've copied a few things from my other blog Random Thoughts to here to group it all together.
Enjoy!